Small Talk is Dead. Good.

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash

I am sitting on the sofa in my apartment, just across from the front door. My neighbor is doing something out in the hallway that involves noises and talking and moving things about. Next to me, the cat springs to attention, tense and ready to deal with whatever threat is coming from the unseen noises.

Truth be told, so am I.

I have always been more of an observer than a talker, a quiet neighbor — a true introvert. Like most introverts, I developed the skill of casual interaction. I could make small talk when necessary. It served me well, helping to put clients at ease and generally get through the day with some amount of grace.

It’s been a year now since I shut down my practice, and all social interactions have been stunted by this pandemic. I am finding that, without regular and frequent practice, I am losing the skill of small talk.

I can still do it. It hasn’t completely left me. I know what to say when the grocery store clerk asks how I’m doing, or when I see my neighbor in the hallway. I do understand that ducking and running into my apartment without a word is not socially acceptable.

It’s so much harder, though. For folks like, me, small talk is like running to train for a marathon. We have to do it consistently, every day, with gradual increases in intensity. Bit by bit, it gets easier…