Member-only story
Shut up and cry
This is what’s happening:
I am sitting in the back room, listening to a wind move its heavy hand through spring trees which are stunned by a sudden drop in temperature. In the next room, my partner speaks softly on Zoom, guiding a meditative relaxation exercise. The blind, half-deaf, ancient dog stands at my feet, considering the massive leap to the couch.
I am so *busy.*
Underneath this peace that threatens to overtake me, my mind is racing. There are slides to finish for a class that should be recorded this week. Did my co-panelist for Friday’s webinar get the Zoom link? I am still not sure if I contacted all my April clients to confirm that I am still not doing massage. Is there anything else I can do to promote the webinar that happens this Monday?
So. Very. Busy.
The last food I ate sits heavily on my stomach, a reproach for once again snacking when my body did not need nourishment. I am acutely aware of the diminishing number of steps I am accumulating this week, as opposed to last week. I could be doing squats while I work. It’s not that hard.
I listen inward and I hear — a busy signal. (Remember those?)
Buzzing and relentless, drowning out the waves of calm that are just beyond me, just waiting for the invitation to wash over.