Make the Mirror Better

It’s much too early to write a book on relationships, I think. I’ve been with my partner for almost 83 weeks now, which in the span of a lifetime is no time at all. It’s barely even a blink. So, it is definitely too soon to think I have anything to say about how to build a relationship.

Consider this, then, some notes about a draft of a book we may write, when our lives have grown even more together and the projects we are immersed in right now have been completed and released into the wild.

Consider this me showing my work, as Austin Kleon suggests. This is a glimpse into a writer’s process, many years before a finished product emerges. (And, is anything really truly “finished,” especially if you’re talking about relationship advice?)

These are my credentials for knowing anything about relationships:

Several years ago, I got divorced. It’s not a new story. It’s not even a new twist on an old story. Just two people who thought they would be together forever, losing the will and the ability to communicate and slowly forgetting how to love each other. There are no bad people in my divorce story, only bad communication skills.

After the divorce a few years of semi-wild abandon followed, in which I explored all the crazy shit I never explored in my 20s — the standard age of exploring crazy shit. It was an excellent way to manage grief.

Once the exploration grew boring and grief was quiet enough to allow more spiritual growth, I met my partner. Here…