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I’d Rather Not Emerge Just Yet
It is happening. Everywhere around me, they are emerging, chirping, hovering around the edges of my attention. They were quiet for so long, and now their noise is nearly deafening.
Brood X Cicadas?
No. Acquaintances.
Just now, as the cicadas are back underground, as their pleasant waves of evening noise and delightfully clumsy flights past my window are gone — the re-emergence of humans is happening.
We have been told it is safe, now (if vaccinated), to gather in small groups. We have been told it is safe to meet and walk about with our naked faces on display. We have been told to come out, come out, wherever we are.
(When I was little, I was so good at neighborhood hide and seek. I could make any place an undetectable hiding place simply because I had the skill of silence and stillness. Still do.)
The thing is, I’m not quite ready to emerge. Not all the way, at least. And some of the people who I haven’t seen (or heard from) throughout this year — I didn’t miss. Now as I am starting to get the “How are you? Let’s catch up!” messages, I feel this strange constriction in my chest, this uncalled-for wave of anger rising into my throat —
I feel my boundaries shaking. And I am looking all around me for the support to keep them in place. It’s…