Member-only story
Home is Where the Tall Ceilings Are
I am looking for a new apartment. There is nothing wrong with my current apartment, I just want to live in the neighborhood closer to my partner (and my favorite park) so we can just walk to each other’s places and leave our cars parked under the old trees that line the roads.
I don’t need much. In fact, I have rejected a few places outright because they are just too big or too fancy for me. There is really only one thing I need, and that is: tall ceilings.
My current place has pretty standard 8' ceilings, with ceiling fans. If I stretch while the fans are going, I will get my hands caught in the fan blades. And when my partner is over, if he isn’t careful to duck, he hits his head on the ceiling fan lights as he walks around.
We are tall people. And most homes were not made to accommodate his height. (I can get by pretty well, although every once in a while I do feel as if I’m living in a Hobbit hole.)
So, here I am, poring over distorted and grainy apartment photos, trying to decide how tall the ceilings are, and if I can stretch without worrying about the ceiling fans.
It feels good to have this clear criteria, this one thing I know I cannot live without. It feels even better to know this criteria grows from deep love and care for myself and for my person.
It’s just finding a new apartment — yet this is also an expression of how I am learning to show up in the world, every day. To have clear boundaries around what I need, so I can show up with love, everywhere. To care for the needs of other humans with kind attention. That’s all that matters.
But I won’t say no to in-unit laundry and a gas stove.